It frustrates me that my parents do not want to learn French when they visit
Columnist Cynthia Spillman advises a reader living in France on parental education
People appreciate it when foreigners make an effort to learn their language
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Dear Cynth,
When my parents visit they never make any effort to speak French, instead relying on us to translate everything or interact with shopkeepers/waiting staff etc on their behalf.
Even basic greetings, like "hello", "goodbye" and "thank you", are too much to ask.
We have been living in France for 12 years now and they visit at least three times a year, always gushing how much they love the country. Isn’t it time they learnt a few phrases?!
NT
I learned the hard way, years ago, that every single one of us is powerless over people, places and things.
That said, it does not mean we cannot change ourselves to adapt to a situation – nor make improvements within certain constraints.
Short of using brute force and refusing to act as translator anymore, there are some things you could try to change the status quo.
First, you could gently inquire as to why they seem unwilling to learn French. Point out the many benefits of learning a new language as we age.
Perhaps they have had a poor language teacher when they were at school, or they are terrified of making fools of themselves in front of Â鶹´«Ã½Ó³».
The reality is that people truly appreciate when foreigners make the effort to speak their language, and so what if they make the occasional howler? Humour is bonding, as opposed to the opposite!
My husband certainly came out with a belter in the market in Nice once and was delighted that his error made him so popular among the stall holders!
Try helping your parents to find a language class near them, or search online.
Emphasise that their French experience will be much enhanced if they can at least learn the basics.
When they do visit you, invite only French-speaking guests. Although this may sound like a baptism of fire, they may actually take the hint and make the effort.
Finally, you could explain calmly that you appreciate it is difficult for them not speaking French, but that you really don’t want to have to keep acting as a translator.
It is not what you signed up for!
It is never too late to learn and you will be doing them a favour and giving yourself a break in the process.
Do you have a problem associated with living in France that is causing upset or worry? Our advice column can help. Write to: askcynth@connexionfrance.com.
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